Hello beautiful Souls. Today I decided to allow my creative message to be vulnerable...a piece of a long journey I am part of. I have become a woman who became a warrior and an inspiration of positivity to be authentic. Dedicated to those who feel defined by fear. You have got this!
There was a time not so long ago, I ran from fear so fear was controlling me. Until I learned to hold fear with respect and courage. I began to listen to its lessons, but not give in to its control of my mind. In some respects I began to honour it, but not worship it. Simply allowing it in.
Fear could not stop me anymore. I allowed myself the space of vulnerability and I walked with courage into the storms and cyclones.
I still have a state of caution rather than fear itself ,
but it no longer controls me. I gave up the need to fear and and reminded myself to live more presently. Fear is about things we have not faced and allow our thoughts to taunt our minds.
At times I was so controlled, I was ashamed of who I was. I relied on others to make me strong and at times forgot who I was.
I permitted fear to singe and burn a raging hole inside me. It told me that it had a directive to protect me and made me believe it was only trying
to protect me, "my vulnerability".
I decided to thank this fear dearly,
and stepped into life anyway,
unashamed. I made peace with and replaced it with gratitude as if it were a lover a soul mate and friend.
I had great sadness buried deep inside.
I needed to allow it in, so I invited it to come out and play. Although I sobbed on days. Those are the tears that started the healing journey.
And... Then I found my truth, my own inner self and my power slowly started to return.
It brought about knowledge and lessons, a wisdom that allowed me to embrace comfort and joy right there.
I realized it was right at the core of my sorrow.
It was this heartbreak that taught me how to love and the light that started to shine ignited a fire in me.
And... I let go of thoughts that destroyed me and let them out of my mind,
and I welcomed in the noise. I called anger into the light itself. It no longer serves me.
I ventured out in nature and felt the grounding earth even squished the mud between my toes. There, I was held strong like a tree, I hugged that tree and felt that vibration run deep within my core, an unshakeable, and safe feeling of comfort.
It scolded and berated me and yelled: "Respect yourself intensly now!" The universe was talking to me and intuitively I knew. (A knowing to hear the words.)
"Speak your truth with conviction!"
"Say no when you mean no!"
"Walk your path along this journey called life with courage!"
"Don't allow others to speak for you!"
Anger became an honest friend reminding me about being reactive and aggressive.
A truthful guide to knowing awareness.
A beautiful new awakening like the growth from being a child to an adult.
Once, loneliness tore a deep gash into my being.
I tried to distract and searched and researched, even tried to numb myself.
I reached out and ran to people and places and things.
Now I have learnt that this lonliness was what brought me to a lesson...I learnt I needed to love myself for who I want to be instead of who I pretended to be. My journey continues good days and lonely days and my glass is always refillable and the air and energy makes it full to the brim... Always. Onwards and forwards live, love and laugh! Avra Poelmann My journey to freedom.
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