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Maybe it’s better to agree?

Hello beautiful Souls. My message today is... Sometimes the solution is just to agree!


Have you found some folks just like to argue and be controlling? You know, when you are in a conversation and someone needs to just always tell you what to do or critise your response or your choices.


Then there are times when someone asks you your opinion or point of view and then begins to argue with you about your point of view and even goes as far as to name call or point fingers at you in judgement. This distresses “fixers” when you need to fix others or their problems you are setting yourself up for heartache. In this case offer only a suggestion and offer a perspective, not an opinion! If it was me scenario! Not you should do “xyz “…


Practical Options:


You feel why do they ask you if they only want to hear their own point of view. Maybe they just wanted somwleonevto hear them vent. They end up pointing fingers at you. An example of this could be "you are so sensitive" just because they don't know how to deal with your opinion or view and not accepting yours. A great response is to simply agree, "yes I am sensitive" thank you for recognising this, I can be sensitive. Another example "you are so aggressive" A good response " yes I can be aggressive, this happens when I feel very passionate about something and I get very frustrated.


By acknowledging the behaviour that others see in you, you diffuse the argument. It is a good tool to help yourself look at yourself and try and assess if your behaviour is perceived this way. Are you really expressing yourself in a negative light? If you share your reason behind your deemed behaviour with an acknowledgement of your attitude it’s easier to stop someone bullying you or looking for fault in you. Remember there is no wrong or right, simply just different! All perspectives need to be shared and seen.


We also need to be aware that there are often times when people accuse you of the very things they are guilty of or struggling with themselves. In this case it's good to ask them why they are feeling this way about you. Generally when someone passes judgement on you they don't understand why you feel the way you do. They also maybe projecting their own thoughts and emotions onto you.

ree

 
 
 

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Avra Poelmann

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*Disclaimer:

All sessions are private and confidential and coaching does not involve the diagnosis or treatment of mental disorders as defined by the Psychiatric Associations. Coaching is not a substitute for counselling or any Psychotherapy. Clients are reminded that they are solely responsible for their physical, mental and emotional well-being during coaching sessions. This includes all choices and decisions made and all sessions are strictly on a professional basis.

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