Examine forgiveness.

Hello beautiful Souls. My message today is about forgiveness.

It's my perspective and account of my personal belief from my own experience only.

The one part of our journey that we are always reluctant to navigate is... forgiveness. As we are schooled to forgive those who tresspass against us and those who have caused your devastating destructive trauma.

This is for me, a very fine line, even sometimes an old fashioned mindset.

So that you understand, I do believe in forgiveness, actually, whole heartedly and especially when there is room for change and repenting. There are a few situations, however, where I would hesitate when it comes to forgiveness.

When things happen to us and towards us, that we have no control of.

Everyone needs an opportunity to find that space of repenting, apologizing sincerely or truly feeling remorse for their wrong doing.

There is the time where I feel where this is a challenge. When one cannot cope with forgiveness, it is not applied to every circumstance. Sometimes it's is only ourselves we can forgive.

Think about it, what if your daughter/son was raped or your mother/father was murdered, or you were traumatized with evil intent by someone? Do you just forgive the perpertrator? For me the answer is... Most definitely not!

You would feel that hurt, betrayal and trauma for ever, always triggered by a memory. It really happened to you or your loved one! This was done with conscious intention... and now you must be comfortable to simply sit down and say, "I forgive you!" When we are assaulted or made a victim in anyway, physically, emotionally or spiritually , it's a life event that will never leave us and to give forgiveness for this make us feel like we condone the atrocities against us.

The option of forgiveness doesn't help us heal when we have been hurt. What we may need to do is, find is space, a space for acknowledgement and acceptance that it did happen. We need to believe we are NOT derserving of this. We have to try find out the reason to forgive someone … asking WHY?

By forgiving as a generic option without anyone taking ownership for their behaviour is not in my mind an option.

Forgiveness of self, in acceptance is far more life changing for one to heal. I am very careful about giving forgiveness until you know what the situation is.

We can't live our lives pretending it's OK, and we can't live our lives not being able to forgive and therefore not allow for healing. Even if we realise we are the one hurting not the perpetrators.

All in its own time, in the right time... Acceptance, acknowledgment and ownership are the three pillars that allow us a space of forgiveness and for one to heal. That healing looks different for everyone, flow with the energy to doing what serves YOU best to give your mind rest!

Maybe the healing is in the acceptance alone. It's just not always OK to forgive others. It's OK to release yourself from this burden so it does not define your life and behaviour going forward. Sometimes healing and forgiveness is about making peace and waking away. Just… allow it to be, it’s in the past.

Please forgive me for that which I did not know, did not understand or find closure of.