The three components of trust.

Hello beautiful Souls, today my message is about unpacking trust.

A foundation for all relationships is trust.

Trust is not merely a feeling; it is the non-negotiable foundation of every relationship, whether explicit or implicit. Without it, connection crumbles. To build trust that is safe, supported, and sustainable, we must understand and deliver on its three core principles.

Promises, Needs and Expectations

1. Promises: The test of reliability is a promise is a commitment to a future action. When we ask for someone’s trust, we are essentially promising reliability.

Delivery is trust that is built on what others tell us and then what we see and hear them do. If a promise is made, it must be kept. This consistent, repetitive behavior—from showing up on time to following through on a major commitment—forms the basis of trustworthiness.

Previous experiences with kept promises give us the comfort necessary to trust someone in the future. Broken promises are the quickest way to erode the foundation.

2. Needs: our requirement for safety and stability in the second component focuses on the essential needs we have in order to be vulnerable and feel safe. Trust requires a secure environment where needs are acknowledged and met.

We enter a sense of a safe space in vulnerability and need that support when we seek to trust someone, we must feel a comfort while sharing personal and intimate emotional information. This is true across all areas of life. In the home, the family, relationships, the workplace, and general life growth it is vital to feel safe.

Trust necessitates an environment free from toxic elements like jealousy or envy. When a relationship offers unconditional love, it should offer 100% loyalty and trust, which directly addresses the core human need for security and acceptance. It’s a state of loyalty too.

Issues with trust are often triggered by the perception that our needs are not being met, leading to insecurity and a lack of self-worthiness.

3. Expectations: These are the outcomes of consistently and are the beliefs we form about future behavior based on a person’s past actions and their commitment to meeting our needs. They are the natural result of consistently solid promises.

The positive safety template for trust is when promises are kept and needs are met, we form a positive expectation that the person will always stay true and be trustworthy. These expectations act as a protective barrier around the relationship.

A word of caution in this space of expectation is that it is vital not to bring issues from the past into new relationships. We must resist the urge to generalize or assume that a betrayal from long ago means all future relationships will also fail. Trust starts new, and expectations should be based on the current person's actions, not another’s history.

Under the banner of expectations we also need to allow for the further caution of the real perspective of “expectations can bring disappointment” We can only be responsible for our own behavior, not that of others.

The ultimate pillar that holds us all accountable is the “trust in self.” While the other three components; promises, needs and expectations all focus on interpersonal dynamics, the most important foundation is self-trust.

We must believe we are capable and able to discern who is trustworthy. Our gut instinct and intuition are the vital tools for discovering real trust. Listen to them; this act of vulnerability is the truest guide to the trustworthiness of others and your own capacity for strong, healthy relationships.